I Am With You
by Kareh
Summary: "Michelangelo kind of feels like they should be worried. It's exactly the kind of thing Leonardo would do, afterall. The sky is blue, pizza is the best food ever and Leonardo sacrifices himself ever other week." Or the 3x21 "Attack on Mega Shredder" fic that no one asked for.


**A/N:** Another crosspost that I wrote after watching the Attack on Mega Shredder episode. Because like - Leo said out loud that he should go into Shredders lair alone and nO ONE SAID ANYTHING OR TRIED TO STOP HIM? It angered me at first because it just seemed so OOC for Raph and Donnie - but it actually confirmed the head canon I have about Mikey seeing everything and understanding and relating to Leonardo in a way that his other brothers do not. I usually don't write Mikey because I see too much of myself in him and that makes him a hard character for me to write - but writing this was weirdly therapeutic, actually.  
Enjoy!

* * *

"Oh not this again," Raphael groans, the moment Leonardo walks away.  
"Go sit down, Raph," Donatello sighs, turning around, "I'll go fetch you some pain meds."  
Michelangelo stays still, looking in the direction of where his eldest brother walked off, "Shouldn't we go after him?"  
"He's just frustrated, Mikey," April says, a small frown on her face. "He isn't really going to go off on his own - right?"  
"Leo's stupid but he ain't that stupid," Raphael says, gruffly, lowering himself onto the sofa. He pauses for a moment, "At least I hope he ain't."  
Michelangelo frowns, considering it. Surely Leonardo wouldn't try to get that brain worm himself - it's dangerous and they all knew what happened to Leonardo the last time he was alone against those guys. He knew Leonardo remembered. There's no way he'd do that, he'd have more sense than that, he's just frustrated and letting out some steam. He looks over at his siblings - wondering if he's the only one who's worried about this. It's hard to tell - but Michelangelo has gotten used to reading his brothers over the years. He sees the way they move - if they are worried, it's not showing. And that surprises him because Michelangelo kind of feels like they should be worried. It's exactly the kind of thing Leonardo would be, afterall. The sky is blue, pizza is the best food ever and Leonardo sacrifices himself ever other week.  
Donnatello places his hand on Michelangelo's arm, "Hey - you hit your head, right? Come sit down and I'll have a look."  
 _They must be worried,_ Michelangelo decides, _but they just have so much other stuff to worry about right now, Raph is bummed about his leg and Donnie has that mysterious project of his that he refuses to let us see until it's done. They're too busy to see it right now, but that's okay - that just means it's my turn. I'll look out for Leo this time._

* * *

It's been _hours._  
Waiting for Leonardo to sneak out was exhausting. Michelangelo had carefully concealed himself and positioned himself by the entrance, ready to - well, he hadn't quite made up his mind yet whether or not he'd stop him or if he'd follow. He'd figure that out when it happened.  
 _He might not even show,_ Michelangelo tells himself, _Raph and Donnie aren't worried about it so he's probably not going to...maybe he was just frustrated and saying things...Leo's smart, he wouldn't..._  
Except Michelangelo knows his eldest brother. He knows that Leonardo is going to go it alone because he's Leonardo and what's what he does - he always puts himself in harms way for their sake. Raphael and Donatello get mad whenever Leonardo does some form of self sacrifice in order to save them - and it bothers Michelangelo, too, but he can't really find it in himself to be mad about it, exactly. Not when he gets why he does it.  
His brothers might laugh at him if he told them that he understands the pressure Leonardo's under because he's the youngest, the baby of the family. What does he know? He has it pretty easy, afterall, being the youngest. He just makes stupid jokes and goofs around. Sometimes it frustrates him because that's all anybody every sees. That it's all he's allowed to show. There's more to him that just that, but he always has to hold back.  
Raphael is free to yell whenever he's mad and Donatello always snaps when he's stressed. They're allowed to be anything they want to be and feel whatever they want to - but it's different with him and Leonardo. While Leonardo almost gets himself blown up in order to protect them - Michelangelo protects them by burrying his feelings. He doesn't get to be anything other than happy - they need him to keep smiling. There's not any room for Michelangelo to not be happy, afterall - Raph is angry, Donatello is tired and Leonardo blames himself for everything. There's never really a quiet moment around here - never a good time for Michelangelo to have a problem or something that he needs support with.  
His thoughts are interupted by his stomach rumbling.  
"Shhhhh," Michelangelo pats his stomach, which lets out another rumble, "Okay, fine, I think we have some leftover pizza.."  
He makes it to the kitchen and has stuffed a slice of pizza in his mouth when he hearts something - a shuffle? He stills, concentrating hard. He can't hear anything. He almost dismisses it and goes back to his pizza but something tells him this is it. The lair is still and quiet when he pokes his head out but somehow he knows he's missed him - his brother has done it again. Slipped right on by.  
He shoves the rest of the slice into his mouth, his hands flying to his belt just to check that his weapons are, in fact, there, and goes out in the dark to catch up with his big brother.

* * *

He expects Leonardo to send him home but when his brother accepts his help - Michelangelo's heart stutters for a moment, momentarily overwhelmed with the amount of trust. He won't screw this up.

* * *

Afterwards, Leonardo pulls him aside. He's expecting a lecture but Leonardo surprises him by wraping him into a hug.  
"Mikey," Leonardo exhales, resting his head on top of Michelangelo's for just a moment, "I thought - when I saw - it ate you - I-"  
He feels a pang of guilt - he was supposed to be helping, afterall, not getting in the way or making his brothers worry- but he squashes down the voice in the back of his mind and saves it for later.  
"Awww, Leo," Michelangelo grins, returning his brothers hug, "I've told you before - I'm a master ninja, dude! No worries! I'm fine - totally fine!"  
"Yeah, you definitely proved yourself," Leonardo grins back at him, raising his fist to Michelangelo's, "Thanks for coming with me, Mikey."  
Michelangelo beams at him, "We can be the new A team!"  
Leonardo shakes his head but he's smiling. Michelangelo takes his lack of protest as confirmation and punches the air.  
"Don't scare me like that again though, okay?" Leonardo says, his face becoming serious again and Michelangelo's face forms into a small frown. He shakes it off quickly, forcing the smile back onto his face ready to laugh it off - but Leonardo catches it. Something in his brothers face changes for a moment - a look of recognition? Worry? Michelangelo doesn't plan on hanging around to find out so he shuffles his feet, taking a small step back, preparing to slip away.  
"Hey," Leonardo reaches out to catch his wrist and stop him, "Mikey? Are you okay?"  
"You scare us all the time," Michelangelo mumbles, shrugging his wrist free. All of a sudden, he feels a hot flash of anger. _I stayed up all night, waiting for you to make a move so I could follow you, so I could help, so you wouldn't get hurt like last time-but you're telling me off for scaring you? Jeez, Leo. It's not like you scare us half to death every other week-_  
He doesn't, though. Leonardo watches him carefully. Waiting.  
"You were going to go alone," Michelangelo says, feeling awkward with the way his brother watches him, "And I mean okay, you probably wouldn't have got caught because you're you and way better than me and it was sort of my fault for being so loud and clumsy but if you had- if all of that had happened - what if we didn't get there in time- and - what if -" Michelangelo stops, having run out of air and takes a deep breath in. Leonardo's still watching him, with this serious look on his face.  
"Yeah," Leonardo says, slowly. "I guess I do. It's hypocritical of me, right? I worry you guys a lot."  
"It's okay," Michelangelo mumbles, "I mean - it's not. But I get it. I get why you always try to pull this stuff."  
Leonardo's face changes into something - relief, maybe, at not having to try and explain himself (something he always avoids whenever their other brothers confront him), "You do?"  
"Yeah," Michelangelo tries to shrugs it off, casually, "You don't do it to make us angry or hurt us, you do it to protect us."  
"And are you?" Leonardo asks, suddenly, his eyes wide as if something's just occured to him, "Angry? Or hurt? Or both? I mean - Donnie and Raph both yell at me for this kind of stuff but you just-" Crawl into his bed and sleep next to him for a week, Michelangelo finishes in his head. That was exactly what he did after the technodrome - when it first occured to Michelangelo that his big brother could actually die.  
"No," Michelangelo says, without hesitation. And then "Yes. A little. But not really. I mean - it uspets me, yeah. You're always doing stuff like this - as if your life doesn't matter and that hurts because, you know, you do matter. But - it doesn't help. Yelling at you, I mean.."  
Not for the first time, he wants to be completely honest. To tell his brother that, even before Splinter officially made him leader, he'd pulled away first and given up playing with them and hanging out to train - and Mikey wasn't mad about that. He wasn't. His older brother was only trying to protect them, afterall - but it had left a gap. A gap that Raphael filled with more anger and Donatello with frustration and Mikey - there hadn't been any of that left for him. He tried to keep the peace, like he'd grown up watching Leonardo do whenever any of them squabbled. He tried to keep them all happy, distract them with jokes and pranks - even though it meant burrying his own feelings.  
But the words don't come, and Michelangelo is forced to change tactics.  
"Going alone tonight was stupid," Michelangelo says, finally. "But I didn't exactly stop and get the others before going after you, either, so..."  
He waits with dread for Leonardo to push him into talking more, to quick up on his hesitation but instead, his brother lets it drop.  
"Yeah," He says, eventually, "We're both a little stupid, then."  
"A little?!" Another voices says, from the kitchen. It's Raph, of course. "You're both more than a little stupid!"  
Both Leonardo and Michelangelo look at each other, sheepishly.  
"And who ate the leftover pizza?!"  
Michelangelo freezes and Leonardo laughs at his deer in headlights expression.  
"C'mon," Leonardo grins at him, grabbing him by the fore arm and leading him out. "I think we owe these guys some pizza. It's the only way to stop Raphie flipping a lid."  
"Don't let Mikey pick the toppings again, Leo!" Donatello yells, from somewhere.  
Leonardo waves a hand behind them, "Gotcha!"  
"All right!" Michelangelo grins, "Our first mission as the newly appointed A team! Pizza!"


End file.
